Our Story

    As pools of Franciscan students awaited their entrance to the buses embarking to Washington D.C. for the March for Life, Victoria recognized Ryan, whom she had briefly met during orientation months previous. After having re-introduced herself, they visited about their studies in Theology and Philosophy and the first time they met. It did not last long until the buses were ready to roll, so both made a small note in their heads to befriend and talk in the future.

    As the semester went by, Ryan and Victoria visited in passing. Their friendship developed when Victoria joined the Franciscan Pep Band, per Ryan's invitation to join. Both playing the alto saxophone, they slowly and surely became friends. Their time in band practice gave them the opportunity to visit about their similar discernments towards becoming monastics - a cloistered nun and a monk, which became the crux of their friendship. Band practice soon led to coffee dates, walks, and drives around town. Sure, they did not know where this was headed, but they were both blessed to have such a spiritual friendship. Ryan and Victoria supported each other in living out God's purpose in their lives, and because of this, they became very dear friends.     That next summer, Ryan called Victoria after every monastery visit and reflected on the prayer, charisma, and discipline of each community. Conversely, Victoria would note her visit to the Poor Clare monastery in Ohio and her involvement in the Opus Dei center*. These were always joyful discussions, lasting hours on end. Ryan would also note the vast collections of books and send pictures of the canon law-related books, knowing Victoria's desire to be a canon lawyer. As each summer day passed, with God's hand on their hearts, a desire to discern each other became ever more evident. Though, knowing how serious each was about their monastic discernment, they kept it sealed lest leading each other astray from God's will.

    During the early hours of reciting the Liturgy of the Hours**, Victoria prayed for her vocation as God consoled her in her questioning. The words of Christ resonated with her, as she became more knowledgeable of God's call for her to be holy. As a sister, nun, or as a wife and mother - Victoria's prayer helped her remember that we are all called to the same holiness. She thought about this during a mini retreat for women with Opus Dei. Already having close relationships with the women there, Victoria thought about the holy lives her friends strived to live. Just to name a few, there was an elementary teacher, an art history student studying for her doctorate, a classical dancer, and a nursing student. Their spiritual assistance to be a faithful Christian while being in this glaring, distracting, and dying world is what prompted Victoria to examine her feelings for Ryan Schaefer.     After years of discerning monasticism, Ryan questioned his pursuit and soon began talking with his spiritual director if this was the right call for him. Through his knowledge of himself, Ryan came to the realization that he is more fit to be a man striving for holiness in the world, rather than the monastery. The peaceful resolution of discerning marriage was placed on his heart by God's grace. Not knowing this, Victoria planned to call Ryan to admit her feelings. At this point, they both were now on campus, but Victoria could not calm her nerves enough to face him. She intended to end their friendship, for the sake of spiritual well-being, and so Ryan could concentrate on becoming a monk without a lovesick, "just-a-friend" on his hip. It took frequent pacing and repeated "Jesus Christ, have mercy on me!" prayers for her to finally press call. Once Ryan answered, in the wealth of her feelings and love for her best friend, she expressed how she so cherished their friendship but valued his relationship with God more. Victoria reminded him of the seriousness of his vocation, and also of her own, so to go separate ways seemed best. Once she finished her speech, Ryan felt astounded at God's timing. After explaining his side of the story, and his desire to discern marriage, Victoria was in disbelief when he admitted he liked her back!     A few days later, Ryan took Victoria on one of their usual car rides, except this time, with a destination in mind - Victoria's favorite spot in Ohio, a patch of land in the middle of nowhere overlooking a beautiful horizon. It was here, as the sun was setting when Ryan asked if he could discern Victoria, as his girlfriend.     Eleven months later, Ryan proposed to Victoria, and here we are now:) No doubt in mind, Ryan and Victoria are where God wants them to be. Glory to Jesus Christ!

*An institution of the Catholic Church that gives all laypeople the formation needed to carry out a holy life while spreading the ideal of the universal call to holiness.

**The Liturgy of the Hours is the prayer of the whole People of God. In it, Christ himself “continues his priestly work through his Church.” His members participate according to their own place in the Church and the circumstances of their lives.